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PTSD

This is an essay I wrote in July 2013. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was the exact moment when my world imploded. I’m happy to report that I have since rebuilt my life with the help of family, friends, medication, and extensive therapy, and I am stronger and better for it.

The first step in that process was finally acknowledging and opening up about my experiences with sexual assault. In sharing this essay with an increasingly wide net of friends, I have learned that almost every other woman in my life has had to deal with sexual harassment and violence in some measure, but almost none of them talks about it. That is why I am publishing this essay at long last.

I believe that as a society, we need to hear the voices of more survivors of sexual violence. The taboo surrounding discussion of sexual assault, rape, and abuse is too strong to prevent it from happening, and it is too strong to help victims heal. If I had felt more comfortable talking about my own history, I don’t think I would have become as sick as I did. But I also believe that no individual survivor owes it to a single person to talk about their experiences. So that leaves me. My own voice.

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2016: Year of The Rock

This past weekend, I had a friend staying with me for New Year’s Eve. K and I tricked her into stretching out her visit out way longer than she had planned, and the three of us spent most of the weekend holed up in my tiny studio apartment, playing out an extended version of a 12 year old’s slumber party. We even watched The Craft!

Amongst the many conversation topics it takes to fill two straight days of talking, we spent a good chunk of time going down an Enneagram* rabbit hole. (If you’re not familiar with Enneagrams, think Meyer’s Briggs, without being a complete piece of shit like Meyers Briggs. Don’t try to put me into one of 16 discrete boxes, you reductionist survey! YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!) Comparing our personality types quickly devolved into comparing the worst, most unhealthy aspects of our personality types, and boy was it fun. Here are some choice excerpts from my profile, Five:

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weird-internet

Felicia Day, Fear, Failure, and Me

This past Thursday, I finally read Felicia Day’s new book. Well, technically, I listened to Felicia Day’s new book, for specific medical reasons. But we’ll get there.

To say that I enjoyed You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) would be an understatement. I’d like to think that most people would at least enjoy this book. It’s funny and poignant and extremely weird–all the things you would expect from a memoir by Felicia Day. But I’m not convinced that most people would love it as if Felicia Day and the universe at large conspired to write and publish this one specific book to be found and consumed by one specific reader at one specific point in their timeline.

That’s the degree of my love for this book. It was only a couple days ago, but I’m pretty sure this book changed my life.

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Hatoful Boyfriend Logo

Hatoful Failure

This past Monday, my friend No H invited me over to her place to play video games. “Hatoful Boyfriend was on sale for $5!!” she said enthusiastically. Hatoful Boyfriend is a Japanese dating sim that No H has been desperate to play ever since it was featured on Day9’s old Geek & Sundry show, Meta Dating.  For those of you that don’t understand any of the words in that sentence, a dating sim is a type of video game that basically functions as a choose-your-own-adventure romance novel, where the primary objective of the game is to date someone. Choices you make, such as what outfit to wear or how to flirt with another character affect which of the love interests you can end up with as well as your ultimate success in the game.

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My Adventures with #DCNelson

Three months ago, I decided to move back to the States. Two months ago, I decided to move back to DC. And shortly after that, I decided, hey, why not, I’ll just be a professional baker now. Which is how, one month ago now, I have come to be living on my friend Pats’ couch, conveniently located four blocks from the job I have to start at 3:30am every morning.

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